This is going to sound crazy… but it’s not like I have a massive amount of followers for the whole tumblr population to see, I just need to vent without sounding like a fangirl. You know that song What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction? I absolutely love it. I listen to it every morning as I get ready in the mirror. It brought me high and endured comfort when I felt my ugliest. But somewhere between the catchy beat and charming lyrics I crashed, bringing to life my eating disorder I thought I triumphed. I guess they say it will always be with you. I know the intention of the 5 mates of One Direction is to make girls all around the world feel special and bring to light inner beauty, and I have no doubt millions of girls received this effect.. but for me and my screwed up mind it brought to life my once dormant disorder. Most of the boys have developed crushes or relations with charming ladies. No surpise there, they’re all millionaire sex gods, unique in their style and vocal talent. But their leading ladies? … Elenor? Thin. Danille? Thin. Pierre? Thin. Caroline? Thin. The boys have any pick of girls in their world, they will date the ones that are beautiful. Sing “What Makes You Beautiful” to girls that are thin. I feel like an imposter listening to that song. As if it wasn’t made for me, nor will I deserve to listen to it until I am skinny and Elenor-esk. A song which once brought me high and made me feel pretty, crashes down on me and reveals my horrid figure. I want to be beautiful. (And i’m not bashing the boys at all. They fancy what they fancy. I am a huge fan!) It’s me who is messed up. Who has a ticking clock at the back of my mind, obsessing over carbs and calories. It’s not like they will ever read this anyway. I’ll be sitting behind their twitters and magazines, admiring their ideal image of beautiful, learning. Working out for hours in the gym is beautiful. Tiny waists and thigh gaps are beautiful. Sharp collar bones and diet pills are beautiful. A caloric deficit outweighing one’s intake is gorgeous. A net calories of 300 is sufficient, eh? It’s what will make me beautiful! My reward for losing 10 pounds is a new pair jean shorts and a listen to that song. Until then..
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
I will forever REBLOG this video. Every time I see it on my Dashboard I reblog it.
Respect for you man. You understand life.
